Emotions and thoughts of a pregnant lady :)

Happy Thursday yall!  It's 6 days away from Mikalyn's birthday and I'm doing my best not to wish the days away.  After all, this is my LAST pregnancy.  One thing I remember missing from being pregnant with Caden and Christian was their movements.  So I'm trying to cherish every kick, swish, push and hiccup.  I'm also trying not to panic about something happening to her between now and then.  I have two more appts before the 20th.  One ultrasound tomorrow and an OB appt. Monday.  So I feel confident the docs are keeping just as close an eye on her as we are.  We've just come so far. 

During the c-section they're going to go ahead and tie my tubes.  EEK!  Seems so strange to think about doing something so permanent, but after LOTS of prayer it just feels like the best plan for us.  We have been blessed beyond belief by God with the care and support from the doctors, insurance, Jeremy's work, family, and friends that to purposely do it again and again to have more kids in the future would be just selfish.  Not to mention being displaced from our home and friends for such a long time. I know God has put this on our hearts so I don't worry or question the decision.  Although the specialist we see here Dr. Moise likes to make it a point to say we should DEFINITELY get my tubes tied that a small part of me wants to just not do it in spite.  LOL.  You know when someone tells you HAVE to do something, or NOT to do something it makes you want to do it just because? haha.

Oh goodness just thinking about even trying to do this all over again makes me anxious and sad!  I miss our home so much.  Not just our house, but Columbus.  This time of year there's so much to do.  I absolutely Love Springtime.  I've found myself having urges to go to home depot or Lowes or the nursery down the street from my house and buy plants to plant in our gardens.  I daydream about what our yard must look like right now with the azalea bushes blooming, the iris's in my front garden bed that always bloom early, and the jasmine smelling so sweet climbing all over the trellis in our backyard.  *sigh*  Although I'm sure there's so many leaves in our yard it doesn't look as pretty as I picture.  I miss visiting the market on Saturdays downtown, playdates at the parks with Caden's buddies and my dear friends.  I still see all the updates on facebook from my mom's group and I feel so bad for Caden not getting to participate! 

Oh dear sweet Caden.  I have a major case of Mom guilt.  He's at such a prime age for learning that my lack of energy or ability to find a playgroup here has made me feel like the worst mom.  Since Jeremy has been able to be here they go out to the park, find ponds to fish in, fly kites, just have some awesome man time together that they haven't had the opportunity to get much of since we were separated the whole beginning of the pregnancy.  But I have not done much of anything for teaching.  And probably let him watch a little too much Disney Channel and ipad.  It's just a season. I have to remember it's just a season.  And all so very worth it!

So after she's born we will have to be here for a little while longer to make sure she's healthy and making her own red blood cells.  Remember right now all she has is donor blood.  So her body has completely stopped making it's own.  Once she's born she will most likely need another transfusion.  Not sure how long it will be until she needs it, or how many more she might need after.  The doctor says it could take as little as a month for her to start making her own red blood cells, and as long as three.  But the three month time frame is apparently pretty rare.  So we are thinking and hoping about a month.  Then we get to go HOME! And she should not have to be in the NICU for that whole time frame. Or even at all if she's not born jaundiced! We will just have to be going in often for little (tearful) heel pricks to check her blood counts.

Almost there.  Update yall again soon!