Lay it down and live it up!

Happy Monday yall! Monday's aren't usually that "happy" because everyone's got so many responsibilites to take care of during the week.  Which, when you think about it, we should all be recharged and ready to take it on because we've just had a weekend to relax and church the previous day to remind us who's really in control, and how much we are loved. 

But somehow that's not the case.  Our mind switches over to all of our to-do's.  Work, school, kids, spouse, budget, chores, hobbies, cooking, exercising, family, health etc. 
And lots of moms think we should be able to take care of ALL these things and do it without a single complaint and a happy smile on our faces.

 

 

And with social media like facebook, blogs, twitter, instagram etc. we all tend to just share our successes and happiness.   Which is totally normal!  It's like the old saying "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all!"  Of course some people have no problem complaining and sharing, but I find most of those people tend to JUST complain and not focus on the happy parts of their lives.  Anyway, I really only like to share the fun stuff.  A yummy meal I made, a cool family outing, cute pictures.  You know what I'm talking about.  Because its so much easier to share the fun stuff.  And not to mention encouraging because others like to hear it!

 

We have to remember that this image we see in public isn't everything.  Everyone has stresses, worries, really just LIFE that we carry around with us all the time.  Leaving us to feel more like this:

 

 

And then even more stressed because perhaps none of our friends are talking about or sharing their stresses.  We feel overwhelmed, like failures, and just HEAVY carrying around this weight.

 

I wanted to blog about all this because yesterday at church the pastor had a great visual of how we all tend to wear our life.  He had two volunteers come up and then gave them each a prop that represented our responsibilities in life. 

So picture yourself doing the same.  Physically carrying around the following:

 

A cookbook (cooking/eating healthy)

a computer (bills, work, social media)

your kids/family (I know this one is easy to picture because who isn't walking around with a baby on her hip while multitasking!)

a broom/mop/vacuum (chores)

A bible (spiritual life)

And whatever else you do extracurricular

Sports equipment

Crafting supplies

Tools

 

It's A LOT. I'm sure you could think of several other things that represent your personal life to add to that list and carry around each day.  The point was

 

"If you wear your life it will wear you out!"

 

Can I get an AMEN?!  I'm a very visual person when it comes to learning, and understanding so this just really hit home for me.  How exhausting to carry around all these things.  Now obviously we don't physically walk around carrying each of these objects.  But we kind of do.  It's all on our minds all the time.  It starts to weigh us down.  And we get frustrated and upset.

 

I also happened to be reading one of my favorite magazines, Whole Living, and there was an article about a book written by Adam Phillips called 'Missing out: In praise of the Unlived Life'  It's a self help book that I have not personally read yet but the topic has a lot of truth.

 

  "Much of our "so-called mental life" is spent fantasizing about what we don't have but wish we did. We are haunted by thought of what might have been, whether romantically or in our career choices. "In our unlived lives" he writes, "we are always more satisfied, far less frustrated versions of ourselves" The author argues against indulging in such wistful thinking. He urges readers not to dwell on supposed missed opportunities which might have ultimately disappointed us anyway. "The myth of our potential can make of our lives a perpetual falling-short, a continual and continuing loss" he says.  ....... Above all, Phillips reminds us that to yearn for the unlived life is to sabotage the one we have."

 

 

I find that last sentence pretty powerful. 

"To yearn for the unlived life is to sabotage the one we have"

Do you ever think of things you wish you did, or could do differently? If I could just do this better, or get this, this, and this done I would be happy.  I would be caught up.  Do you constantly think about all the things you don't have that you feel would just make life so much better? I know I can definitely be caught up in those thoughts.  And it keeps me from focusing on the awesome life I do have. SABOTAGE.  This word kind of makes me laugh because my hubby is usually saying caden is sabotaging him by strategically leaving toys in his way. haha! Ok sorry for the random thought.... 

 

 

Ok back on topic.  In the bulletin notes at church was this statement: "Stop chasing after your life and start chasing after God's!"  Matthew 6:25-27 portrays how little we need to worry because God will take care of us. 

 

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

 

The next visual was of the volunteers on the stage then taking off all of the props and laying it at the foot of the cross.  So picture that for yourself now.  Take all those things we thought about physically carrying around and lay them down at God's feet.  Feel free now?  Is it a little scary to just give up control?  Answer me this then, are you really doing that great all by yourself?  All these 'things' we let muddy our thoughts and lives take over too much.  We can't see the fruits that God is giving us.

 

 ^"Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; ¹⁹ but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful."  Mark 4:18-19

Lay it down at His feet.  Let God take control so that we can live the life He has promised us.  Stop carrying such a burden that He is so willing to carry for you.  TRUST that He will give you the ability to accomplish what you can, and that you cannot do it alone.  Don't be afraid to lay it all down & LIVE IT UP!

 

2013 Resolution

For the past few years I have made countless resolutions, plans, goals, and to-do lists of what I want to include in my days.  Not just for the typical new years resolutions, but throughout the year when I get frustrated with my lack of discipline, lack of time, energy, you name it.   I would start strong with a fabulous list and then a blog post of what I will get done now.  There should be NO EXCUSE why I can't accomplish (insert project, task, chore here) every day.  And there were many times I would actually be productive and accomplish what I wanted in the first few days. 

Does it ever last long? Nope.  It's constant failure.  Lack of self-discipline. Procrastination. Frustration. So I have constantly searched for the reasons why.  Paid attention to what kept interfering with my plans for each day.  I could, of course, never put my finger on anything specific.

Since we've been away from home I haven't even tried to create a schedule for us.  There's no point! Too many appointments, away from home and our friends to hang out with.  Not to mention I felt like poo for so long.  Now Jeremy is here with us, and we have a little more time in between transfusions.  Life has settled just a bit and the desire for consistency and a routine has returned!

2012 came to an end and the new year began so beautifully with our family together again and the hopes of our baby girl joining in the very near future.  I started thinking again about what to do now while I have a little more time and energy. Not to mention I don't have a whole household of chores to do! :)  So I reflected on the past and why I could never succeed at what i set out to accomplish.  What kind of resolutions should I set that are realistic? What can I start doing now that would have a good impact and habits for when we return home?

It was blaringly obvious.  The ONLY thing I should be concerned with making sure I do EVERYDAY is time with the Lord.  In the word.  Everything else will fall into place.  Don't get me wrong, I still know the importance of everyday chores and taking care of the family, or if you have to go to work each day, but I also know that without starting each day with the focus on HIM all those daily tasks can quickly become frustrating, mundane, and just plain unfulfilling.  

I constantly crave routine, and schedules.  But I can't be successful at anything else until my relationship with God is strengthened.  When I'm setting out to accomplish things on my own I will fail.  And I KNOW this to be fact.  So why then did I constantly try to do anything otherwise?

So my 2013 Resolution:

Get to know God first.  Let HIM be my routine each day.  Build that foundation first.  I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and my family this year.  What I will learn from studying, reading and praying. 

So how about you? What are your resolutions for this year? I would love to hear them so I can pray for you to be successful!

Dancing in the rain...

My heart is a storm of emotions.  So much has been going on lately both wonderful and painful at the same. exact. time.  It's completely exhausting.
 I had two nephews born last month.  Two beautiful, adorable blessings born to two of my sisters that are already amazing mothers.  I am so happy for them and so happy to be an aunt!  At the same time last month was the year anniversary of losing our baby boy Christian.  Amongst the pain of remembering our son, and celebrating our first nephew Hampton, was the joy of learning we were pregnant!  Then....only a week later, and on the exact day we had lost christian, I miscarried.  As I type that, my heart is in knots. 
Why would God do that to me? to us? I was so angry, and hurt, and sad.  But I couldnt share it with anyone.  I didnt want to take away from my sister's new little miracle.  I didnt want to make it real. 
But it was.  It happened.  And yes, it's aweful.
 

“He heals the brokenhearted…” Psalm 147:3

Not long ago I heard from a dear friend that she was pregnant!  I have so many friends right now that are expecting it's hard to keep up, but this news was so special and while it does hurt a little every time I hear someone else is experiencing the joy of pregnancy, I also am filled with excitment and happiness!  I am so thankful that my friends can go through a normal, healthy pregnancy and not the pain of loss like I've dealt with.  Unfortunately this same friend let me know a week later that she too had miscarried.... I couldnt help but cry. 

  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4

I have been working on my relationship with the Lord.  And when I am so angry and hurt and confused I tend to push away and not talk to Him.  But isn't that exactly the time I need him most? And isn't that part of a relationship? To share your innermost feelings with someone you love and be comforted.  To know someone else understands and cares about you.  And who better to hear me than God himself?  So instead of just the usual praying, asking, and praising I tend to do, instead I vented. I cried. And maybe even yelled a little.  I felt better.  He wasnt arguing back. He was just listening.  And I remembered Job.  God did not punish him, He didnt take away everything he held dear, it was Satan.  A test of Job's faith.  Proving no matter what Satan puts us through, our faith will only grow stronger as God proves to never fail us. 

“…I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”  Jeremiah 31:13

I cannot sit here and tell you that Satan is the cause of all suffering because we are human and born of sin and we can never know God's purpose. 

"....Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." Job 42:3

Like Job, we will not know what purposes are behind things we experience in this life, but we can trust that God does not wish for us to suffer, and will always turn our mourning into gladness, and give comfort and joy instead of sorrow. always. 

Recently my hubby deployed.  Yes right before Christmas is hard, but at the same time we get to be around family.  And under the circumstances there is no one else in the world I would rather spend the holidays with.  My parents are flying down and we are spending Christmas at my brother's.  I honestly cannot remember the last time I spent Christmas with my side of the family.  It's going to be a time filled with treasured memories.  And Instead of weathering the storm from all the pain, I'm going to dance in the rain.  And celebrate the birth of a baby who saved us all.   Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior!

Peace the world cannot give

It has been a year since we lost our sweet baby Christian.  And where I'm at now is more trusting and faithful in the Lord than I ever thought possible.  I know God has been with me because otherwise I would be afraid. and fear does not come from the Lord. 

 "I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." John 14:27 

This gift was surely given to us and I am forever thankful.  I know God has a plan for our family and whether that means being able to have more children on our own, adopting, or only having Caden and Christian we have no idea. But we will trust in His plan even when we cannot see the purpose.
  As a planner it's very difficult to just trust and and know that God is in control.  I want to take control. I want to know what to expect. I want, I want I want!  But God knows what I NEED.  And above all I need Him.  We cannot do anything without Him.  I can't be a good wife, mother, daughter, friend, woman without Him in my life. 

I miss Christian deeply.  But there is no place for pain when I know he is with God.  There is no better place.  Not even here with us.  So instead I REJOICE that God trusted us to LOVE him even for such a brief time.  I do not understand why he was taken so soon but that is why faith is so important.  I know that "God causes all things  to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 

Thank you all for your love and support and prayers for our family.  I just pray I can give the same support in return. 

I love yall so much.