Conflicted

I should be totally happy right now right?  I'm about to go just part time and work from home.  We've paid off all our debt.  We've found a wonderful church home.  I'm pretty much back down to my pre-pregnancy weight with only 5 lbs to go. I feel great (aside from the nasty allergies Caden and I are experiencing right now) Spring is here! But.....

I'm super stressed out these days.  :(  I've been working from home two days a week as an "experiment" to try and get into a schedule and figure out if I'll be able to fit in 4 hours a day of work.  Doesn't sound too bad right?  It's just 4 hours!!!  But Oh my gosh.  I've been doing this "experiment" for a month now and I don't know that I can do it.  Because everything else is getting let go.  I'm so focused on trying to make sure I get 4 hours in that everything else doesn't get done.  And I feel guilty that I dont get dinner prepared, none of the chores are getting finished, and when Jeremy gets home I need him to watch Caden so i can try and either finish a chore, or fit in another hour of work.  It's ridiculous!!!  This isn't what I wanted at all.  So I'm stressed out, which in turn makes Jeremy stressed out. 

I thought I could do it all.  The baby, the bills, the cooking, the cleaning, take care of my husband, and work!  Lots of other women do this so why not me?