Thank you Lord for this strength

So much to say about this weekend its going to have to be a couple different posts.  But I wanted to start by saying how much strength the Lord gave me.  Christian was due this weekend.  Had the pregnancy continued I know we would have never actually gone the full 40 weeks because the goal was to just make it to the point where it was safe to take him out.  But the significance of March 12th still made me anxious thinking about it.  

It finally arrived and instead of feeling overcome with sadness I felt just completely blessed and filled with strength.  CAM is waiting for us at home in Heaven and I get to look forward to that.  Until that day I get to live this life and treasure the moments I did have with him.  Feeling his kicks and holding him in my arms November 5th.  "Remember, Remember the 5th of November" has a new meaning to me. 

We spent this weekend having so much fun as a family.  We shopped garage sales, organized our garage, cuddled with Caden who was a little sicky Sunday morning and Saturday night attended a dinner with other families from church that are going through or have gone through the adoption process. 

What a wonderful way to spend such a significant day.  We learned so much from talking with other families.  Where we are in the process is just the beginning thoughts.  We did attend a meeting at Bethany Christian Services a couple weeks ago for the domestic infant adoption.  It will be very expensive!  We have not had the chance to attend an orientation for the state foster to adopt program yet.  But we are still considering all of our options and praying about it.  So it was so great to get to talk with everyone, hear such wonderful stories, and feel an amazing support. 

There's still days my heart just aches and I feel on the verge of tears if anyone so much as mentions Christian, or if those that dont know ask when we will try for another child.  But I know God is listening and continuing to guide us through and give us strength. 

Remembering CAM. Our pecious baby boy and Caden's baby brother. We love you bubba. And look forward to seeing you and kissing your face when we are called home.  Thank you God for this strength and for loving us.