Let's be honest #8

Growing up I never imagined I would be a stay at home mom. My mom worked full time, and I enjoyed working as an adult so the thought of being a "housewife" never crossed my mind. Even most of the way through my pregnancy with Caden I didn't think I would ever stay home.

Then I had him, and the thought of going back to work broke my heart! Thankfully we were able to save and pay some things off and just before Caden turned one I quit working and became a stay at home mom.

Talk about a change! And can I tell you it has taken me until recently to realize how selfless that decision would be.

Bringing in some income, and having a 'real' job was what I did to contribute to the family. I felt a little selfish just being home and not making any money, and I was just so overjoyed to not have to wake up early, and there were so many days of just staying in jammies or loungewear. It felt like a constant weekend! It was awesome.

Then I had to actually start cooking real meals. Working full time made me HATE cooking. After a full day of work, coming home and cooking and doing the dishes after sounded like the worst chore ever. But now I had the time, and energy and no other excuse to not be feeding our family a healthy meal.

When I was working, if chores weren't done, it was forgiven because of the long work week I had.

Suddenly these silly things like cooking and cleaning were my JOB. And of course taking care of Caden.

For me, taking care of Caden is such a joy, and so fulfilling, and came so natural. Chores, cooking, and even serving my husband has been things I've had to LEARN how to do. And not just how to do them, but really love and feel just as fulfilled.

When you work you get paychecks and raises, and other people acknowledge a job well done! When you stay home there's no increase in position or pay the better you get at cooking and cleaning.

When there's no one else around to see all the things you've accomplished and errands you've run today all while juggling a grumpy child it's so hard to not post it all on facebook to get a little acknowledgement!

My point in these thoughts I'm sharing is that I've learned staying home and taking care of my family has been the hardest job I've ever had. Not because I don't get paid, or that I'm not appreciated, because my husband does an amazing job at recognizing and thanking me for all I do. It's that I've never had to be more selfless in my life.

I care more about the health and well being of my family then myself. So many times I am the last to eat because I'm busy making sure everyone else has what they need. Planning my days around caden's activities and interests, and supporting Jeremy while he works full time and is in school to fulfill his career goals.

I take care of others and it feels so much more satisfying than anything I've ever done for myself! Perhaps it's still self satisfying because they are MY family, but it's still a lesson I'm so thankful to have learned. To think of myself last.

And no I'm not perfect in this area. I still have selfish days where all I want to do is be lazy and watch movies all day. But just knowing that God gave me a heart for homemaking when I never planned for it is really awesome :)

-Jessi