3 months

It's been 3 months since Christian went to be with Jesus.  Our hearts still hurt, and we still think of him every day.  God has been here for us in every way possible.  No one will ever understand why God calls children home to Him. All we can do is trust. And have FAITH. 

My faith has grown exponentially the last 3 months.  God knows our pain and continues to comfort us.  The biggest comfort He gave us is Caden.  What a miracle to have Caden in our lives.  He is such a joy and I praise God for every second we get to be his parents. 

I think one of the hardest things in life is to let go of control.  God is in control no matter what our plans are.  Our dream was to have a house full of kids.  While that could still be a possibility with adoption, or surrogacy or whatever, it's not up to me.  So I remind myself every day to let go.  Let go of control.  Know that God's plan is perfect and mine isn't.  If Caden is our only child our lives will be complete!  If we are blessed with more it will be even more complete!  Because it was God's will. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5