Let's be honest

Hey friends. I wanted to be honest today about how hard it is when my hubby is gone. I don't talk about when Jeremy is gone, for how long, why, or where because really those details are not to be shared. But because I can't talk about these things it probably appears to others that it's not important enough for me to discuss. Or that I'm perfectly fine when he is not here.
I also am not a complainer. I don't like to be negative, and I hate to dwell on things that put me in a funk! So when someone asks how I'm doing, typically the answer is fine! And most of the time it is true, but is it all peachy and perfect? Not even close!
But I don't want to say otherwise. Especially when there are women out there in much tougher situations than myself. Whose husbands are on much longer deployments, who have more than one child!
I grew up in a military family so I'm no stranger to this life. But there is a huge difference in your Daddy being gone vs. your husband. And an even bigger difference in your husband being gone when you don't have kids than when you do have kids.

God gave me the gift of strength. And I am so thankful that I can be strong enough for our family when Jeremy is gone. But when I can't be strong, or I should say don't have the desire to be, and want to hide away and feel sorry for myself; I have some amazing friends always there for me. They don't even know how much I value them. I never ask for help, or really even pray for it. It's just given.

There are so many days where I would rather stay home and not be social, and cancel plans because I'm down in the dumps. But God will tell me I need to make time for these women and not be so selfish. So I go, and afterwards it wasn't me making time for them, it was them being there for me! And I feel rejuvenated and uplifted by the conversation and bonding time. God has blessed me continually with just the right friend at just the right time sharing the same struggles.

Not long ago Caden was sick with a fever and I had to cancel dinner plans with a friend. I had no idea what to cook since I was banking on that awesome portabella pizza! But it didn't matter that I couldn't come over, she made it a point to bring us dinner! And she does not live very close either. I was so blessed by that simple gesture. When your kid is sick it's so easy to feel cut off from the world and alone! But knowing I was important enough for her to drive all the way out just to bring me dinner was awesome!

On the flip side I was feeling sick with some crazy allergies and had to cancel another dinner date with a different friend. I wanted to just feel bad and hole myself away for a while. And without a thought she immediately offers to bring us some dinner. Completely understanding I would not be up to cooking Caden a quality meal.

I would be no where right now without these amazing friendships God has blessed me with. From a simple text seeing how I'm doing, to bringing me dinner. I feel so loved! I'm reminded that my bad days arent just my own. And that even though I am alone without Jeremy, I am never truly alone. God will provide for me in every way necessary. And right now that is with these Godly women that love me for me. Even when I haven't cleaned my house in two weeks or showered in two days ;)

Thank you friends! I hope you know who you are. I pray I've shown you the same love and friendship in return. You lift me up and give me encouragement when I need it most!

Do you struggle with being a "hobbit" and not wanting to socialize when you're in a funk? What's on your mind that you want to share and just be honest about? I would love to hear about it!

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